"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Goose Egg

Papi ain't happy, y'all.

So, David Wells is on the DL. Show of hands of who's surprised?

*hands firmly planted at sides*

Yeah, that's what I thought. But the way I figure it, better he annoys us on the DL where he won't have the opportunity to fuck up games in progress. I mean, short of him getting drunk, stumbling out of the dugout and reenacting the toga party scene from
Animal House in center field. Which, you know, when we're talking about David Wells, is an ever-present concern.

However, kinda wishing we still had the Goldilocked wonder around as a solution to this mess. Hell, the guy can even pinch hit for Manny in pressure situations. Instead, it looks like we'll be turning to Lenny "if this baseball thing doesn't work out, I am sooooo starting an alt rock band" Dinardo. Somewhere in Pawtucket, Manny Delcarmen and John Lester are shooting dirty looks Bostonward.

Now let's talk about Manny for a second. I maintain that it's still too early to start clutching our pearls and tearing at our hair all, "Why can't Manny hit? Whywhywhywhy?!?" It's still early. Calm down, y'all. That said, perhaps some new mojo is warranted. Maybe he needs to not look like he's, in the words of Marianne, "auditioning to replace the third member of TLC." Personally, I think he's looking a little Earth, Wind and Fire but either way, it's doing him no favors. Or maybe it's the pants. Instead of messing with the high socks/low socks combo as he did within one game last Wednesday, he should just find a style and stick with it. I recommend high socks. High socks never did anyone wrong.

As for yesterday's game, well... You've got a lineup prominently featuring Adam Stern, Alex Cora, Alex Gonzalez and Josh Bard. Not exactly a modern day Murderer's Row there. I imagine even the normally questionable Joel Piniero looked at that and went, "Pshaw, okay." It still seems marginally unfair that perennial good guy Tim Wakefield is stuck pitching in front of the B team but you also know that if there's one guy who's not gonna complain about it, it's Tim Wakefield.

So today we've got Josh "Fat Head" Beckett (he does better when I give tough love) going against Jarrod "One pitch and David Ortiz'll send y'all home happy" Washburn. My money's on the guy who's head looks like an Easter egg.