Off to the Races

Well if that’s how things are gonna be, sign me up.

I am fairly certain that David Ortiz is not human. I mean, how can he be? He’s like the world’s most terrifying, and yet loveable teddy bear. Like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man with a bat. And an attitude. He just destroys people. He doesn’t bend them, he doesn’t break them. He steals their souls and leaves them sobbing and gasping for air. But he does it all with a smile. Because that’s how Big Papi rolls, y’all. I’m gonna have to agree with Red that the man should have his own theme music. Possibly the theme song from the Greatest American Hero. Suggestions?

And let’s not forget about my boy Tek. While I maintain that Opening Day was a bit too early for the all too familiar “Varitek up with two outs and the bases loaded” shenanigans, a ground out is better than, quoth Marianne, “the latest installment of ‘High Fastball Swining: The Jason Varitek Story’.” I do believe old Thighs of Freedom may have even laid off a high fastball or two. Will wonders never cease? And that two RBI double was nothing to scoff at. Getting the offense started, now that’s what I like to see.

To say nothing of Schilling and the fact that, say what you will about the man, but he views every game as the World Series. Apparently he lobbied Tito to come back out in the seventh. Of course he did. While I’m a wee bit concerned about the whole, “I’m staying in,” “No you’re not,” “Yes I am,” “Okey doke,” aspect of the whole thing, I do trust Tito. So I think it’ll be okay. While it remains to be seen if Schilling will continue to pitch as he did yesterday, it’s certainly a good start. And I, for one, will take it.

I do not want to talk about Keith Foulke. Maybe ever.

And what about Coco? This guy? We’re gonna love this guy. I just have me a feeling.

One game is not enough to predict anything. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that overreacting, while a Red Sox fan’s birthright, isn’t necessarily the most healthy course of action. And so, I shall reign it in and stick by my original prediction that, something tells me, 2006 is gonna be a fun year.

Oh, and am I the only one who doesn’t want Roger Clemens back in a Red Sox uniform? I can’t be, right?