No Brick Walls Ever!
Okay, new rule: Jason Varitek is not allowed to run headlong into any walls, brick or otherwise. Ever. Ever again. The fifth game of the season is entirely too early to be having heart palpitations and flashbacks to 2001 and the whole "broken elbow on the on-deck circle" thing.
So I'm hereby declaring that all parks with walls made of brick, (Camden Yards and Wrigley: this means you) are to be wrapped in bubble wrap or syrofoam packing peanuts before any Red Sox games. Failing that, Varitek is FORBIDDEN from running towards any walls. Let Youkilis do it. That's apparently what he's here for.
As you were.