"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Crazy Talk

(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

A selection of comments from All-Star game chat sessions:

Re: The introduction of Hall of Famers

Amy: wade boggs' commitment to the mullet is not as charming as eck's
Me: not even a little bit

Re: The conspicuous absence of Carlton Fisk
Amy: Carlton Fisk probably would have decked someone for old times' sake. Like Yogi Berra.
Me: that would have been AWESOME

Re: Sheryl Crowe singing the National Anthem…badly
Me: OBVIOUSLY this was a gig for the jovi.
Amy: richie's speakerbox would have rocked that

Re: The announcing booth
Amy: if you put joe buck and peyton manning next to each other you would get like a solid foot of forehead

Re: Joe Buck's assumed television tastes
Me: kim and i are discussing how much joe buck loves sex and the city
Amy: oh he does. he fancies himself a samantha
Me: but he was heartbroken when carrie left aidan
Amy: he wept when charlotte got her baby
Me: oh yeah, it was an ugly cry
Amy: "she had...she'd waited f-f-f-for so loooooong"
Me: right into his pint of haagen daaz
Amy: i think he was very wary of mr big
Me: never trusted that guy. too smooth.
Amy: he was so happy when miranda finally got a decent haircut and he could stop writing to the producers about it
Me: "she's got such a pretty face. why do they make her look like a man?"

Re: The Josh Hamilton saga
Kim: joe buck is so happy he gets to talk about josh hamilton some more
me: he loves a bootstrap story
Kim: listening to him you would think he helped get josh hamilton clean.
me: perhaps he thought "my lord and savior jesus christ" was code for "joe buck."
Kim: is that not webster's definition of jesus christ?
me: depends on your edition

Re: The David Ortiz/Brian Urlacher Vitamin Water commercial
Amy: brian urlacher
brian urlacher
brian urlacher

obviously, we need to get papi to convince him. since they're buds.

Amy: i am trying to make it happen with my mind
Me: and then every day, tommy could be all "hey, remember that time i deked you out? that was awesome."
Amy: and then brian urlacher will hang him up by his underpants
Me: which would be funny for everyone
Amy: vrabes would enjoy that
Me: vrabes would take pictures and put them on the interwebs
Amy: beats the goat

Re: Captain Clutch’s tonsorial issues
Kim: what is up with Jeter’s hair cut?
Me: holding fast to the dream of a kid n' play reunion obviously.

Re: Joe Buck telling the Josh Hamilton story...again
Me: say "smoking crack" again, joe