"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Don’t worry, it happens to everyone from time to time.

(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

Or so we tell ourselves.

But, I mean, really, Paps was just reverting to the norm laid out by Sox pitchers last night since giving up 18 hits isn’t really going to get anyone a win unless the opposing hitters start playing dizzy bat in the on-deck circle and running backwards around the bases. (Which could happen if they had Manny on their team, actually). And pretty much the only thing that could have stopped Placido Polanco was some sort of kidnapping maneuver wherein he spent the entirety of the game locked in the concession stand broom closet behind third base while trussed up in medical tape and Ace bandages. Must be all that residual power he stores in his gi-normous, lightbulb-shaped head.

The good news is that Mike Lowell is hitting home runs. And Kevin Youkilis is playing on another planet entirely. Plus, the Sox did manage to muster 12 hits and eight runs which is really not so slouchy, offensively-speaking. Clearly, last night was not about pitching.

Look, Papelbon was bound to blow a save at some point this season. You and I both know it was going to happen. Because despite the fact that he often looks like a cartoon character and we frequently view him as a heat-throwing superhero, he is, evidently, human. And when matched up against Captain Bighead of the 5-for-6 night, well, something’s gotta give. Irresistible force meets immovable object and all that. It's best we get it out of the way now before he gets to something ridiculous like 40 straight and we start having fireworks and laser shows and he enters wearing a cape and a horned helmet and THEN he blows one. That'd be way more embarrassing.

So we take it on the chin and move on. Personally, I’m not worried. We’ve got Beckett going tonight and you know what fires up Josh Beckett? Besides Lone Star pitchers and the newest issue of Maxim? Being the stopper. So really, it’s a good thing that the Sox have given Beckett something to be fired up about. This is all going according to plan.

Wow, look at me spinning a loss into a positive. That’s impressive. Perhaps I should work for the Clinton campaign.