"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Things You Can Tell About Craig Hansen Just By Looking At Him

(Photo, and lots more like it, from here)

So that is apparently a picture of Craig Hansen accepting a check for taking second prize in the Professional Baseball Gamers League, er, tournament. Or something. The league in which Johnny Damon evidently serves as commissioner and players routinely square off against Snoop Dogg. I am so not kidding. (Check out the site for additional pictures).

And yeah, absolutely none of that surprises me. Craig Hansen's waaay into video games? Sure. Craig Hansen wears expensive "rawker" shirts? Totally. Craig Hansen is like totally psyched about the upcoming Nickelback world tour? DUDE.

These are things we just know, people.

But the thing about Craig Hansen is that he's inspired a bit of a bet between Amy and myself. You see, Amy loves him. She wants him to do well. I'd venture we all want him to do well because he's on the Red Sox but Amy has a special, vested interest in this. So we made a bet. If Craig Hansen finishes the season with a sub 3.00 ERA, I have to write a piece for InSite wherein I publicly apologize for making fun of him and cringing in agony every time he takes the field in a major league baseball game.

And we needed something for Amy to wager as well so equally ridiculous, I decided - after several beers, naturally - that JD Drew was going to win the batting title this year. (Possibly those beers were laced with something stronger than hops). And if he does, Amy has to write the same article, apologizing to Drew for calling him "Jessica" and insinuating that he misses a few games at the same time every month because of womanly troubles.

Said bets have been taken to a third party (New Friend Sean, the bouncer at our local) and notarized. And now they're on the internets so we've gotta pay up. It's up to you people to keep us honest.

Now, aren't ridiculous, semi-drunken bets involving miraculous feats on behalf of the Red Sox more fun to talk about than the rare strain of Ebola currently affecting the Sox clubhouse? I think so.