"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Monday, March 14, 2005

March Apathy

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A brunette version of Kristen reacts to March Madness

So…everyone got their brackets? Put your ten bucks in your office pool? Filled out all those little lines and what have you? Spent a goodly amount of time at the water cooler discussing UConn’s strengths and Illinois’s weaknesses? Think maybe Oklahoma State could be a sleeper? Think BC is prime for a fall? Yeah, me neither. I have a confession to make. As big a sports fan as I am – and, if you’ve read any of this blog so far, you know how big a sports fan I am – I could not possibly care less about March Madness and the NCAA basketball tournament. Surpassed only by Nascar in my apathy (although Nascar is the brunt of more contempt), any comments about the NCAA are met with a definitive *shrug* by yours truly. I just…don’t care.

I suppose the fact that I didn’t go to a “real” college may have something to do with it. You see, I attended Emerson, the esteemed “communication and performing arts” school in downtown Boston where, it is rumored that we had a Division III basketball team but I suspect that’s merely an urban legend created by film majors hungry for subject matter. Our colors are purple and gold. These people mute the Super Bowl and watch the commercials. I’m pretty sure our rallying cry would include obscure references to Kant and Kubrick. Not exactly a big sporting school we’re talking about here. Not that Emerson didn’t have much to offer (it damn well better have considering the giant, smoking crater, I’m sorry “performing arts building” that my tuition is currently sitting in), but if there is one thing I regret about my college experience – I mean, aside from having a series of ultimately fruitless crushes on beautiful gay boys – it was the lack of any sort of collegiate camaraderie in the form of sporting events. I read Sam’s blog wherein she often details her sojourns to University of Michigan football games and I get greenish with envy, just thinking about what might have been had I chosen a different school. I don’t regret my decision, but I can’t help wondering how things might have ended differently. Maybe if I’d gone to a school with a real sports program, I’d care about March Madness.

In all honesty, my only collegiate rooting interest as far as sports goes is University of New Hampshire hockey. My dad was a Wildcat and I’m from New Hampshire and the hockey teams used to let my figure skating club use their ice so I’ve got a bit of a soft spot for them. Plus, Hockey East is damn good hockey. Back in junior high when I was dating a basketball player and I decided, in my infinitely impressionable thirteen-year-old mind, that I was going to start following basketball, like, for real, I convinced my dad to take me to a UNH basketball game. Good times? They were not had. UNH has never been a basketball powerhouse. And it don’t seem likely to happen soon. Safe to say an affinity for college basketball never took.

So during the month of March when many sports fans are emerging from their post-Super Bowl month and a half barren sports comas by filling out brackets and dissecting Syracuse’s chances, I’m watching spring training games and sizing up our new bullpeners. I subscribe to The Sporting News and, aside from the occasional Nascar-themed issues which I toss in the growing pile in my bedroom with nary a glance, the NCAA issues warrant barely a flip-through. I watch NESN’s SportsDesk every morning as I’m getting ready for work and while I get dressed and make my coffee as Hazel Mae talks about the Sox and the Celtics, I dry my hair during BC and UConn updates. I mean, I pick up some things. I can identify Charlie Villenueva and Jermaine Watson, Jim Calhoun and Al Skinner on sight but damned if I care. I mean, good for them, but college basketball just isn’t my bag.

So hey, knock yourself out if March Madness if your thing. Here, I’ll even give you a handy bracket because I’m a giver. But if you want anything other than a blank stare, don’t ask me what I think of the way the tournament is progressing. All I know is that there are nineteen days until Opening Day of the 2005 baseball season. Now that, I have some predictions for. As for the NCAA, I’m going with…Louisville. Because they make great bats. How funny would that be if I’m right?