"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Thursday, May 29, 2008

This stopped being funny several starts ago.

Tim Wakefield is so not amused, you guys. So not amused. After giving up eleventy runs in his previous few starts, he holds the Mariners to one stinkin' run and his teammates can't manage to score any? Zero? None? Wakefield makes one little mistake and he loses the game? You're kidding me with this, right? I thought we were done with the whole "Not scoring runs for Wake's starts" thing. Didn't the Red Sox front office rescind that memo? This is upsetting is what this is.

Also upsetting? The fact that former Oriole and current Mariner Erik Bedard can get the snot kicked out of him by the Yankees and then "learn something" and pitch like a dude who was a possible Cy Young candidate a year before. And this is after I reimagined a song for him and everything. You know what, Erik? I take it back. I TAKE IT ALL BACK.

Why do we suppose the Red Sox are playing like the Celtics? That is winning exactly ONE game on the road in the past million years? Why is that happening? Are they not used to the weather outside of Boston? Don't understand what a "mariner" really is? Still in hiding from the four-wheeled menace Mariner Moose? Could I possibly ask more rhetorical questions in this post?

Whatever it is, FIX IT. They have today off to travel and, presumably, think about what they did. Or didn't do as the case may be. For his part, I hope Tim Wakefield spends the entire plane ride home making the Dad Face at his teammates. You know the Dad Face. The one your dad gives you when he's so disappointed, he doesn't even have words. I hate the Dad Face. Let's hope the offense gets the message.