I am not dead.

But I have been without cable and internet for the past four days. Which have been, evidently, the most exciting games of the season. THANKS, COMCAST. But now, I have not only cable and internet but also a new apartment. That's right, kids, Basegirl Enterprises has a new home. It's just me so the only person I'll annoy by singing Bon Jovi at 6:45 in the morning is myself. And also, I can watch SportsDesk four times before I leave for work. Sweet. The poor Comcast dudes who installed my cable this morning probably thought I was going to eat them, so voracious was I for SportsCenter and SportsDesk, etc. I mean, at this very moment, ESPN is talking about, basically, how the Yankees are fucked. I NEED TO SEE THESE THINGS, PEOPLE.

Sorry for the interruption in services. Snarking to resume starting now.

So, how about them Red Sox? How about that Josh Beckett and his (don't call it a blister) "finger issue?"

How about that Daisuke Matsuzaka and the fact that, apparently, Jim Leyland is not having it?

How about 'Tek allegedly breaking a bat over his leg after striking out the other day? I say "allegedly" because I did not see it and because NO ONE THOUGHT TO BRING IT TO MY ATTENTION FOR REASONS I HAVE YET TO DETERMINE. Is this not why we have YouTube?

How about it?

Honestly, I go away for four days and catch small glimpses of the game through my neighbor's window and there's way too much to talk about. So, how y'all been?