"Nothing Jerry Remy Loves That Much Can Be Bad"*

*Marianne, speaking of Remy's all-consuming love for Alex Cora.

And she is completely right. Alex Cora, 3-for-3 tonight, was doing his best to make sure Tim Wakefield wouldn't have to make his patented You-guys-are-assholes-for-not-scoring-any-runs Face.

Of course, it helps when Papi hits one to Michigan. Which is, I'm guessing, why he got the hug from Tim Wakefield upon returning to the dugout. I don't get the sense that Wake is terribly free with his affections but it's David Ortiz, he just hit a home run for you. How can you not hug him? David Ortiz hugs people who are tagging him out during double plays. That is a man you hug, no matter the circumstances. I'm guessing even Tim Wakefield makes an excuse in his "No Hugging" policy when it comes to Papi. That is a man not to be denied the man love.

Rounding out the evening of perfect baseball was the loss by the Yankees, 15-11 to Seattle. Yeah, fifteen. One-five. Wow. As Remy said, "I'm glad we're not covering that game. There's only so much you can say about bad pitching."

I've got something for you, RemDawg. How about this, Mike Myers, lefty specialist, whom the Yankees acquired solely to get David Ortiz out (no matter what anyone says), pitched FOUR INNINGS OF RELIEF TONIGHT. Four innings. For a lefty specialist. I understand that Torre's bullpen is taxed and the pitching got rocked today but does he really have no other options? That just seems irresponsible. I guess someone has to mop up but isn't that what Josh Phelps is for or something? Surely they can find some drunk Brooklyn native with a jersey in the stands who'd be willing to toss a few. Yikes.

Additionally, the Blue Jays and Devil Rays both also lost and the Orioles won in extras thanks to my continuing love for Nick Markakis (don't believe me? Ask the O's fans).

Aside from the whole playing-on-turf-inside-a-bag-made-to-collect-lawn-debris thing, a wholly perfect night in baseball. Delightful!