"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

15 days. That's just over two weeks. It's less than a month. It's practically no time at all. But it seems INTERMINABLE. 15 days until baseball returns to Fenway Park after a Very. Long. Hiatus. Perhaps it's me. Perhaps the winter just seemed longer because the news during the cold months was more about Tom Brady's baby mama drama instead of his fourth Super Bowl ring (I still don't really want to talk about that, in case you're keeping track). Maybe the winter hasn't really been that long. But things are about to change.

Personally, I'm starting a new job next week and (fingers crossed), I'll have a new apartment to look forward to. That's right, kids, Basegirl Enterprises is lookin' to move into her own swingin' pad. Let's hope the references check out. Y'all keep your mouths shut if anyone comes calling.

That said, there comes a point every spring where you get tired of the hype and want to see some damn games already. Yes, we know that Matsuzaka is throwing BBs and whupping ass and all that rot, but these games mean nothing and serve only to get us all worked up for actual baseball. Would it be too much to ask to actually recognize the third basemen by the fourth inning? And I don't mean in the, "Hey, isn't that the guy who sold you the last bottle of Jameson's on St. Patrick's Day" kind of recognition. Otherwise, you're reduced to sifting through the Globe's coverage of Spring Training games, learning only that Mike Timlin is hurt again, Coco likes to shop and catching up on the latest in the Schilling/Shaughnessy Odd Couple Soap Opera. Time for baseball, people.

Time for baseball because I can't deal with things like this:

Amy: Lomo had shoulder surgery that revealed "fairly significant" damage. Thankfully baseball season is starting so we can pretend it isn't happening.

Me: I hope they fixed the "fairly significant" damage while they were in there instead of just opening him up and going, "Hmmm, well ain't that a pisser?"

Amy: For some reason, that was hilarious to me. And knowing the crackpot medical staffs our teams employ, probably... Hazel Mae is saying it was corrected.

Me: Well, she's marrying a Blue Jays non-roster invitee. So clearly, we can trust her.

That's what I mean. I can't possibly be expected to deal with "fairly significant" damage to my favorite kickass running back. Not now. Not when baseball is about to start.

So boys, do me all a favor and step on it already, would you? I've been overly charitable to Yankee fans lately and we simply can't have that. Although, admittedly, I did have a hearty laugh when I learned that Carl Pavano might be their Opening Day starter. Come on, in this cutthroat division, you gotta get your schadenfreude while you can.