"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Bye Week Shenanigans

(Who wants to fight this man?)

Bye weeks. A good thing for the team who can certainly use the extra time to rehab injuries and prepare for the coming week but a bad thing for the fans who are forced to find alternative methods of sporting entertainment.

Luckily for us, the baseball playoffs are still happening. And as such, it’s still considered appropriate to take up residence at a sports bar, order pitcher upon pitcher of beer and watch the baseball. But seeing as how neither team is really, you know, our team, we were forced to come up with an alternate hypothetical game. And so, I give you, “Ray-Ray Got Next,” a bracketed game in which various foes face off against each other for the honor of facing Ray Lewis in a fight to the death.

Truthfully, this was probably inspired by our long running “Shark vs. Gorilla on a subway half full of water debate.” But wouldn’t it be more entertaining for everyone if Ray Lewis was involved? What about Ray Lewis vs. the shark? Ray Lewis vs. the gorilla? Ray Lewis vs. one of those velociraptors from Jurassic Park? Oh, I know! Ray Lewis vs. the animal his fur coat is made out of.

I’m telling you, forget March Madness, Ray-Ray Got Next is the newest bracket sensation.

And yes, before you ask, we blame the beer too.