"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Thursday, January 31, 2008


(Photo from Reebok)

So Reebok emails me this morning to tell me that they thought that my readers might be interested in knowing that "
Reebok wanted to play off Maroney's childhood nickname "Kool-Aid" in their latest collection. The Kool-Aid collection is complete with sneakers, t-shirts, hoodies and hats. The first three flavors- Grape, Strawberry and Cherry- officially launch on Feb. 1st."

And I thought, normally I don't do posts shilling for things (unless they are brilliantly designed t-shirts and the like by fellow bloggers), but dudes, Laurence Maroney inspired Reebok to design an entire line around Kool-Aid. Which is, well, which is something, that's for damn sure.

Apparently Lomo even has a Kool-Aid decal on his truck and, according to the Globe, the tasty beverage came up during media day as well:

Maroney didn't answer and Jackson walked away, but that kicked off a series of questions from reporters as to what was Maroney's "Kool-Aid" nickname (he even has the Kool-Aid Man on his truck). Some of the give and take:

Reporter: Is Kool-Aid your favorite drink?

Maroney: Yep, if it's made right.

Reporter: How do you make Kool-Aid right?

Maroney: Water and sugar.

Which is all well and good but, I mean, get a load of this new collection. It's certainly...colorful.

Now, if Lomo can get the offensive line to deck themselves out in Cherry, Grape, and Strawberry-hued duds, well, it'll surely be a sight to behold.

I told Amy about the email from Reebok and she said, "Given that she reads your blog, she shouldn't be surprised if you give a plug by writing a skit between Logan Mankins and Lomo debating the merits of Sunny D vs. Kool-Aid." A skit which I then ordered her to write immediately.

Logan: Howdy, Lawrence. What are you drinking?

Lomo: Good afternoon, Logan. I am drinking Kool-Aid, only the greatest beverage in the world.

Logan: Au contraire, mon frere. In my thermoses three, I hold the greatest beverage in the world. And as you can see by my golden, uncolored mustache, I have not been drinking Kool-Aid.

Lomo: Why do you have three thermoses?

Logan: I am pretty large.

Lomo: True that. What is in your thermoses?

Logan: A delight from that glowing orb that gives us warmth and makes crops grow. That ball of fire that reddens the forearms and puts the gleam in Matt Light's hair.

Lomo: /stares blankly

Logan: I am partaking of Sunny Delight.

Lomo: Dude, Kool-Aid totally kicks Sunny D's ass. It has no variety. Kool-Aid? For breakfast, I had grape. For lunch, I had tropical punch. Right now, I am drinking light blue. And light blue is so awesome, they don't even have to tell me what kind of fruit it is made from on account of it is so delicious, I'll drink it anyway.

Logan: But it does not derive its flavors and nutritional benefits from the sun.

Lomo: But Reebok made me a sweatshirt with the Kool-Aid man on it. Where's your Sunny D sweatshirt, man? Did Reebok make you one of those?

Logan: Well, no…

Lomo: I got a hat too. And Sunny D is like $3.99 for a bottle. I can get so much Kool-Aid from one packet and those packets are like a quarter apiece.

Logan: My mother knitted me this Sunny Delight sweater, however. /adjusts overall bib to demonstrate sweater

Lomo: That's real nice, Logan. Let's go see if Coach Belichick will take us to Denny's.

Logan: I do feel the righteous siren song that only a sausage can sing!


Is it Super Bowl yet?