And I Shall Dub Him "Lord Beckett"

(Photo from Boston.com)

...at least until his next start.

That's right, kids, you heard it here first. Josh Beckett, usually known around these parts as "Fathead" has surpassed even "dude" status today with his fine work against the Mariners and has earned himself a reprieve from the "Fathead" label. For now. I am not easily swayed, is the thing, so I'm gonna need to see these kind of performances continue if I'm to refer to him as "Joshua" for good. But for now, you done good, sir, you done real good indeed.

But people? Enough of these bloody afternoon games. I cannot be expected to keep up with this. I have missed fully 3/4 of the games the Sox have played during this young season simply because they happen to be taking place when the rest of the world is at work. And as much as I'd like to take three hour Sox breaks, I understand the world does not work that way. So I'm left with MLB.com updates and Boston.com refreshing scores that, you know, never refresh so I am left mistakenly thinking that the 4th inning has lasted for thirty-nine years or some such. So please, 7:05pm games soon? Yes? Good.

Now, as for JD Drew...look, this is hard. I know it's not the guy's fault that he's not Trot Nixon. He didn't not re-sign Trot. He didn't force Trot to go to Cleveland. He wasn't the one pulling the strings behind the scenes. So it's probably a little unfair to view him through the shitkicker-colored glasses of a one Mr. Christopher Trotman Nixon. But thems the breaks. Trotter was part of the Sox fabric for a good, long time and it doesn't help that Drew is patrolling right field at Fenway and wearing Trotter's number. (Because #7 will always be Trotter's number. Much like #5 will always belong to Nomar). It's not necessarily his fault, but it has become his lot to deal with. And if he's smart, he's already learned that Boston is nothing if not in touch with it's history. And we're not likely to forget about the dude who was in right field before him. Personally, some friends and I are debating whether or not to tell Marianne that Trot's not on the Sox anymore. Right now we're just pretending he's on the DL. According to Annette, it's very believable and hurts far less than the truth. I tend to agree.

Also, can someone confirm or deny for me? Wasn't there some sort of bench-clearing hoo hah during last year's Opening Day at Fenway? Am I completely making that up? (It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've fabricated something on this here blog.) Amy sent me the following report from Boston.com regarding the "incident":

//But after striking out Jose Guillen swinging, reliever Brendan Donnelly and Guillen started jawing at each other. Guillen pointed toward the mound, then took off his helmet. Donnelly started walking toward Guillen, who was on the third base line, and removed his glasses. They got close, though no punches were thrown.//

Me: "...and removed his glasses." AWESOME.

Amy: "Good sir, I remove my glasses because your visage offends me."

I mean really, that's what it's come down to? Removing one's glasses? It's all very Shakespearean, "Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?" "I do bite my thumb, sir, but not at you."

I'm sorry, did I just slip into English major dorkitude there? Many apologies.

Anyway, what else can you say about a 14-3 shellacking? I'm glad to see that Jason Varitek seems to be taking my plea seriously and as of right now, I like the way our pitching staff is going. Of course, I reserve the right to change my mind in about, oh, fourteen seconds. Or anytime thereafter.

And just for fun, Kevin Millar doing the Ray Lewis dance. My love for Millar continues to grow by leaps and bounds. And you just know that he's the ONLY person on the planet that Ray-Ray won't shiv for that.