"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Can't Keep a Good Man Down

Of course Rodney Harrison broke his shoulder blade. Of fucking course he did. Things were entirely too easy there for a while. I mean, aside from our starting right guard, we'd not had any major, high-impact injuries this season. And this is the Patriots. THEY SIMPLY DON'T OPERATE THAT WAY.

I'm strangely calm about this. I'm not really sure why. Possibly it's because I can look at last year and I realize that even after the hell pit known as Heinz Field broke Rodney and he missed the rest of the season, the Pats still managed to make the playoffs. Possibly it's because I realize that it's, you know, football and people are going to get hurt, especially Patriots players because they've apparently done something wrong karmically-speaking. And possibly because if I know anything about Rodney Harrison, I know that he is staple-gunning that scapula back together as we speak. I wouldn't want to be the doctor that tells him he can't play, is what I'm saying.

Now, Thomas is a different matter. There were shades of last year's playoff game in Denver in Sunday's game against the Colts and I did not like it one bit. As The Rick pointed out, he seems to have one bad game a season. Last year it was the Denver playoff game, the year before, the Miami game (which I thought we'd all agreed never happened), and then the Colts game on Sunday. He seems to mess up in the same way. Pressing too hard and forcing passes which leads to interceptions. It's unlike him. Usually, he shakes it off and he's back on point the following week and I can only hope that's what happens here. I have faith in him.

Of course, I saw part of his post-game press conference at the Coolidge Corner Clubhouse on Monday while the rest of the TVs were showing the boring as all hell Monday Night Football game between Oakland and Seattle and even without sound, he just looked so...sad. Like a kid who'd just lost his championship little league game. I normally want to engage in some kind of physical contact with Tom Brady because, come on, homeboy's a hottie, but this time, I was struck by the maternal desire to wrap him in a hand-knitted afghan, give him hot chocolate and warm applesauce with cinnamon and tell him that nothing bad would ever happen to him. Broke my heart. Don't do that again, Tommy. I don't like to be so girly.

But I must ask...why were we not running? I mean, that's not Brady's fault. What was Belichick on when he said, "Hmmm, horrible run defense. Let's pass!"? What was that about?

Dear Bill:

Don't do that again. Also, bring back the grey hoodie.

Pats fans everywhere

Now we're subjected to even more endless hours of Peyton worshipping. As if that's possible. Such was my rage at the fellating that was happening in the broadcast booth on Sunday night that I actually tore apart a leftover birthday balloon with my bare hands. Several birthday balloons, in fact. I did smile, however, when Adam shanked two field goals. Karma's a bitch, eh, Vinatieri?

But still, In Bill We Trust. I mean, it's not as if the man hasn't lost a game before. And it's not as if he hasn't lost a game that mattered before. And hey, if Tommy's gonna turn human for one game a season, it's best it happens during the regular season and not during the playoffs like someone else I could mention. I fully expect the boys to be back to form this coming Sunday vs. the Jets. And they better be. Because Chad Pennington worship is something I simply cannot abide.

But it's best to keep this all in perspective. The Patriots are still a very good football team. Things could be a LOT worse. After all, we could be the Steelers.