We Knew the End Times Were Upon Us...

...when Bronson Arroyo started belting home runs.

Look, I'm not going to be the eight millionth person to complain about the rain and the fact that canoeing to work is really becoming a bit of a hassle.

I will share with you, however, that my roommate, on her way to New Hampshire yesterday to celebrate Mother's Day, had to swerve in her car to avoid a duck floating across the road. A duck, people. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

Now, I'm a little rusty on my biblical history but I think the next plague is either locusts or death of the firstborn.

I will tell you this much, baseball needs to happen right quick lest I start building a scale replica of Fenway Park in my apartment using Q-Tips and angel hair pasta. Again, not kidding.

It's a good thing I'm such an excellent swimmer.