"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Reuinited and it Feels So Good

(photo from Boston.com)

Okay, folks. I'm still feeling like I've been run over by a Mac truck. So I'm turning things over to my brother today, self-proclaimed "World's Biggest Doug Mirabelli Fan." Here's his take on the game Monday night:

Only in Boston

Upon receiving the news that Doug Mirabelli was returning to Boston last night I was informed by my sister (the owner of this blog that you all enjoy) that I would absolutely have to post a guest entry on the subject. I would assume that most of you out there know me as the crazy brother of Basegirl who’s all time favorite Red Sox player is Doug Mirabelli. Yes, the very same brother who lost several cases of beer to Basegirl in a bet that placed Varitek and Mirabelli in a statistical head to head showdown in 2004 (cases of beer which I am still owed, FYI - Kristen).

Well, I was trying to think about what I should write for my debut guest entry, and I contemplated several ways that I could defend Dougie, and say “I told you so” to all those who thought Josh Bard would be a capable replacement to catch Wakefield. But after watching the game last night I realized that I didn’t have to do any of that. Because where else besides Boston would the return of Doug Mirabelli, (the backup catcher) overshadow the return of Johnny Damon playing for the evil empire (sporting a questionable haircut)? As I watched the game and saw all the signs welcoming Dougie back and the police escort that shuttled him from the airport to the ballpark just minutes before the first pitch I realized that I may not be that crazy after all. Last night was yet another perfect example of why baseball in Boston is so great, and why we all love this team. My favorite part of the game was in the ninth, when they put Varitek in, and I had a giant Papelboner (hereby added to the list of things you are never allowed to say in front of your older sister - Kristen), and they showed a shot of the Red Sox bench, and there was Doug, right in the middle with a gigantic smile that just showed how happy he was to be back.

But anyway, enough of the mushy stuff. This post is about how Doug Mirabelli is the damn man, and what a great story unfolded yesterday. Here's my take on how it all went down. Picture this: (reader's of the original "Dougie's Diary might be feeling a sense of deja vu - Kristen).

Dougie is sitting in his San Diego apartment watching the 2004 Red Sox highlight video, eating a bucket of chicken and drinking a Colt 45 when the phone rings. Its Kevin Towers, telling Doug that he has been traded back to the Red Sox and they want him to get on a plane ASAP so he can be back in time to catch Wakefield against the Yankees tonight. After 15 minutes of threatening to kill Towers if this is a prank, Dougie finally believes him and hangs up the phone. He goes over to his closet and takes out his Red Sox uni (he always knew he would be coming back). Dougie then takes 15 naked cuts in front of the mirror and proclaims that he is going deep tonight. After packing 2 tank tops and 1 pair of jeans, Dougie departs for the airport. At the airport, security gives Dougy some shit for trying to carry on his Lousville Slugger, but he threatens to beat them like a Kevin Brown fastball and they eventually give in. At the gate just before heading down the ramp and back to Boston, Dougie turns and faces a half full airport (none of the people in the airport know who Doug Mirabelli is). His face looks almost sad, as if he might just miss the consistent tank top weather, but his words beg to differ “Go F@#* yourself San Diego!” he says, and down the ramp he goes.

On the plan ride back Dougie has a pre-game meal (17 packs of peanuts and 12 of those mini cans of beer). The plane touches down in Logan just 20 minutes before the first pitch and Dougie is picked up by a state police escort to take him to the game. On the short ride to Fenway, Dougie changes in the car and goes through his standard pre game warmup which consists of a single stretch of his throwing arm and an adjust of his jock strap. After completion of his warm up, Dougie announces to the state trooper driving the car that he is ready play and is "going deep tonight." The rest of the activities of the night are pretty well known from the time the escort arrived at fenway to the 0 past ball, 1 runner thrown out, 0-4 performance that Mirabelli is so well known for. But hey, who cares? Dougie's back!

Well, that is my take on what happened yesterday, but regardless, it was a great night at Fenway, and after what I saw I know I’m not the only one that was glad to see Doug Mirabelli back in a Red Sox uniform last night. (And it was pretty great to see people throw money at Johnny Damon too).