Labors

(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

You guys are gonna have to bear with me for a while this morning. See, I begun this post-Labor Day week by spilling coffee all over my bathroom and myself and, in addition to being dangerously under-caffeinated, I will also spend my day smelling like French Roast.

However, if I remember correctly in my sleep haze, the Red Sox have managed to go 3-1 since last we spoke which can only mean good things. And if I didn't know, I'd have to guess that the loser in that "1" was Tim Wakefield probably because those assholes refused to score runs for him again and what do you know? I'd be right.

As for the rest of the games, it appears to have gone like this: Dustin Pedroia. Strut. Strut. Pimp Stroll. Dustin Pedroia. Repeat.

In this day and age it's a little dangerous to wonder out loud what anyone might be on but I think we're safe in assuming that in Petey's case, it's nothing more than a heaping helping of Awesome Flakes and a profound sense of "not being good enough, little man." Which, if that's what it continues to take, I say we develop some sort of phone tree system wherein we all take a few hours and are responsible for calling Pedroia or bringing signs to the ballpark claiming that he ain't shit. That'll fire him up, but good.

Additionally, Jason Varitek appears to be undergoing a reverse season of sorts. Tek notoriously drops off in September and forces me to haul out and dust off the tried and true mantra "his value to the team is not in his offense" to the derision of all and sundry. Only this season he seems to be heating up. I've theorized that it's because now he's not all alone in his secret pain anymore but maybe he's just thinking "Fuck it, let's go for broke." (Not that Jason Varitek curses, mind you. There's his influence on the Papel-fetus to consider.)

Frankly, I'm surprised that Tek and Mrs. Papelbon didn't develop some sort of radio silence/media blackout so that Papelbon wasn't made aware of Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson's latest exploits. Because Papelbon does not need any ideas.

Anyway, 3-1 is a more than respectable Labor Day Weekend. More than acceptable. The O's are still in town tonight and it's Matsuzaka's turn again. Speaking of, I should really let you all know who you're dealing with here when I tell you that I watched the replay of Friday night's game on Saturday for a good hour before I realized that I wasn't watching a live game. And I only noticed because someone mentioned Matsuzaka's pitch count and I thought "That's awfully irresponsible of them to make him pitch on back-to-back days." You'd think I might've noticed that it was dark at Fenway Park and not so much at my apartment which is, you know, a mile and a half down the road. You'd think that would have occurred to me. You'd have been wrong.

What I'm saying is, sometimes my brain stops working. Can't be helped.