Welcome, New Guy!

(photo from Boston.com)

Okay, I don't know who the hell this "Heath Evans" fellow is but lemme tell you that in the few hours I watched him sub for an injured Corey Dillon in yesterday's matchup against Miami, I've grown inordinately fond of the dude. Finding holes here, diving for first downs there. That, my friends, is what we like to see from our running backs. No one, so far as I could tell, pulled up as if they'd been shot *cough* Patrick Pass *cough*. And no one dropped the ball at an inopportune moment. So thank you, Miami Dolphins, for releasing a one Mr. Heath Evans. We will gladly take him and love him for our very own.

Mr. Brady had a few too many interceptions, "a few too many" meaning, of course, "any at all" and somehow, the New England defense let a dude named "Gus" pass for 360 yards. Also, I would like to propose that the announcers stop referring to the Patriots secondary as "depleted" or "patchwork" as those terms would lead one to believe that that is not the normal state of being. That is, saying something is "depleted" or "patchwork" would lead one to believe that there are, in fact times when the secondary is at "full strength" or "whole." Neither of which, as we well know by now, has been the case for the past three seasons. So how about this, until everyone who starts the season on the Pats' secondary suits up and plays a full game in their rightful places without any injuries, we can just say "Patriots' secondary" and we'll all understand that to mean that it's held together with airplane glue and popsicle sticks? Okay? Okay, deal.

That said, small memo to the Patriots (and y'all thought I stopped addressing teams directly with the Red Sox):

Dear New England Patriots Players:

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE THE RED SOX? DO YOU THINK WE NEED GAMES TO BE TIGHT AND NERVE WRACKING TO ENJOY THEM? DO YOU THINK I DON'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME SCREAMING AT THE BRUINS' DEFENSE (more on that in a moment) THAT I'M CONFIDENT WITH THE PLAY OF A BUNCH OF WATERBOYS AND ROOKIES?

But RICHARD SEYMOUR! Hooray!

Ahem.

~Kristen

And now, don't think I wasn't going to address the Bruins. Hey, hockey players? I know someone who would not have let the Islanders score twice in the final three minutes of the game on Friday night. His name is my brother. Or, you know, me. And I feel confident in saying that despite the fact that my one and only foray into hockey (I figure skated for fourteen years), was a complete and total disaster. But FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY CAN WE NOT ALLOW THE OPPONENT TO SCORE GOALS WITH LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES REMAINING IN REGULATION? This happened last week against the Flyers too. And then on Friday against the Islanders. What the hell? The Bruins do know that the third period is actually the full twenty minutes, right? Kee-rist. Bunch of amateurs.

*scoffs in disgust*

That said, I'm excited to attend the game against the Maple Leafs on Thursday. Marianne continues her full immersion into hockey and I come up with reasons to dislike the Leafs like the fact that "Leafs" is not the plural of "Leaf" and the grammar nazi in me bristles at the misstep. But mostly, I just cheer for blood.