Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

(Photo from Yahoo! Sports)

I can already tell that I'm going to spend the first couple months of the season exclaiming aloud to my empty apartment (or all the dust bunnies in residence therein) "Huh, so-and-so is on such-and such a team now?" Which was last night's reaction to Pat Burrell. The long, long, looooong offseason has somehow erased all this brand new information from my brain and while I apparently have no problem remembering and informing people apropos of absolutely nothing that "Nomar is an A now," I evidently can't remember the players in the division. And despite knowing it happened, I still had a moment of confusion when Carl Crawford hit a fly to right and Don Orsillo exclaimed, "Crawford flies to right, Baldelli comes in and makes the catch." Because...oh right, Baldelli=Red Sox now. Brain synapses must rework themselves. Got it.

It's gonna take some mental adjustment is all I'm saying.

Like with Gabe Kapler, who it's always nice to see. According to Jerry Remy, he ran into Kapler in the weight room (because of course he did), and Kapler was incredibly touched by the Opening Day ovation he got at Fenway. Say what you want about us, but we remember the good guys.

The game last night, however, was slightly less lovely and heartwarming. Lester's control is somewhat worrisome (but, you know, Game 2 and all that), but Kazmir is Kazmir is Kazmir and despite perhaps aging in the Benjamin Button style, the dude is no joke as a pitcher. Neither are most of the members of the Rays' staff. It's looking more and more like last season was not an abberation which is really going to be a pain in the ass come mid-summer and playoff push time.

But here's what I really want to talk about: Manny Delcarmen and Dustin Pedroia's facial hair. For all the world it looks like Delcarmen is posing as one of those Wooly Willy kid's toys but that Pedroia got all greddy-like and stole most of the iron filings for himself. Probably to enhance his epic manliness. But really, I just think it makes Delcarmen look like a hobo and Pedroia resemble a kid who ate his Cocoa Krispies too fast.

Now that that important observation is out of the way, is it just me or does "Zobrist" sound like the name of an intergalactic race of space invaders? All hail Zobrist, invader of Earth? No? Just me then? Okay. The cheese stands alone.