"Hell may have no fury like a woman scorned but heaven hath no sweetness like a sports fan vindicated." - Samcat

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Stress is a Killer

(that's about right)

Dear Bronson Arroyo,
You did a lovely job. Watching you pitch made me feel like this:

Hugs and kisses and continued loveliness for you. (But dude, what's with the hair? No more hanging out with Mrs. Damon.)


Dear Keith Foulke,
Watching you pitch made me look like this:

I do not like looking like that. It makes me sad. Please do not do it again.

Love and such,

Together, you made me look like this:

If you keep this up, I will have eight ulcers, two heart attacks and irritable bowel syndrome before the All-Star Break. It's the fourth game of the season. Pace yourselves. Spread out the drama a bit, boys. Breathe in, breathe out.